Do not buy anything that is advertised on TV after midnight or by women called “Moira”.

Never trust a person whose forehead doesnt move.  Or whose lips  resemble a trout and whose cheeks resemble mounds (See Hunter Tylo).

Embrace your own natural beauty. The world would be a very boring place if we were all tall thin and blonde. Love your hourglass figure. Love your knobbly knees. Love your differences. ( this life lesson contains a special shout out to Nicole Kidman.)

Food that wobbles: jelly, blancmange, tapioca, rice pudding, flummeries and aspics: should not be trusted.

If you cant handle a 6 week old puppy... dont have a child.

always break an (freerange) egg into a cup before adding it to a recipe.

Items presented in Newspapers and  on Television News are NOT the only newsworthy things happening in the world.

When speaking in public.. speak slower than normal.and  take a nice big breath every now and then so you dont rush.

Do not judge the quality of a school by whether it is public or private. Judge it by the young people it  turns out.